Friday, July 10, 2009

Impatience and Clarity

I've been feeling very frustrated lately. I feel as if I've been working my ass off for soooooooooooo long and still stuck in the EXACT same place with the exact same obstacles, no money, no resources, not enough time...blah blah blah. I got really down the past couple of weeks and I've been really hard on myself. And then my husband said, " so quit. It's much easier than working on your collection and ACTUALLY fullfilling your passion, just quit." Of course he didn't really mean that it was just his way of winding me up and snapping me out of my funk. It only made me more frustrated because I knew he was right. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm SO impatient and want more NOW. But by doing that, I'm not appreciating what I actually do have and what I have accomplished. He also said, "It's as if you're never going to be happy with your career. Don't be stupid, and don't be greedy. Practice what your preach about living in the moment and living life to the fullest. How do you expect to help change the world by behaving like this?" Thank you Chris for being so supportive and calling me out on my shit. I love you so much and thank the heavens every day that we found eachother.

Wow. What a wake up call. The reality is that I'm in a really good place in life and I've never been happier. I'm in shock of how far I've gotten because if you knew me 4 years ago you wouldn't think I'd ever make anything out of myself. I was addicted to some very harmful substances and associated with people who didn't bring the best out in me. I abused myself on a daily basis. But I found the strength to turn my life around thanks to some very incredible people. Tiffany deserves a special mention here. She's the first one who helped open my eyes to the possibilities. Thank you so much for not giving up on me and believing in me and caring so much that you wouldn't take no for an answer that night. :)

And then I saw a quote this morning on facebook, "... it's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference. The Universe invites you now to be someone who is making a life, rather than a living. Move toward your passion. Express through your daily work and your daily activities what it is that lights up your soul. Do not believe those who say that you cannot do this. Do it anyway." Thanks Kerry for sharing that. :)

I am so thankful for the incredible people in my life and for everything I have accomplished. There, I finally said it.

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